Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Emmy's Life Lessons (As Learned & Chronicled Thus Far)

Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Jams: Into the Blue-Sara Jackson Holman

Wow. I cannot believe it's been two months since my last post! I swear I'm not playing hard to get with you guys, I've just been so busy. I realize that sounds like a line but I promise it's not, I've really missed you. Okay, that sounds like one too, I'm sorry I love you don't leave me. Let's just skip over the groveling and get to what I've been up to these last two months, and that is simply: self-improvement and personal development. JK, what I've been doing does not sound nearly as pretentious as that, but I have been learning a lot these past few months now that I am a fully functioning member of society. Here are some things I have discovered about myself and life in general since entering the workforce:

Emmy's Life Lessons (As Learned & Chronicled Thus Far):

1) Working. SUCKS. Will the tiredness ever end?!
2) Sweatpants are a literal Godsend. God was like, "I am punishing you with childbirth" and Eve was like, "Fuck it. That come with a pair of sweats?" Now I can't speak from experience yet, but I'm guessing it was a worthwhile bargain.
3) Happy Hours and Boozy Brunches are the best ways to "go out."Any situation that puts me tipsy and in my bed at 9 pm is a...say it with me...WIN.

4) Don't trust someone who is friends with someone you don't trust. Let that one marinate, you'll get there.
5) My liver has rebelled after all those nights of ill treatment throughout college. I now sniff beer with caution for fear of a hangover. 
6) You will not get along with everyone and not everyone thinks you are the witty, lovable, general all-around delight Mama told you you are. Ignore the people that don't think this, they are stupid.
7) Exercise is like a diet. The more obsessive or restrictive you are, the more likely you are to fall off the wagon and quit. I have a very complicated relationship with exercise, but we're in counseling and working on it.
8) It's not the number of times you speak with someone that make a friendship, it's the times you show up for each other that count.

9) It really helps improve self-awareness by being aware of what's going on outside your own scary, labyrinth of a mind. And when you don't have time to spend the entire morning with Mr. Roker and the gang or that smokeshow Brian Williams, you skimm
10) I always feel poor and that I'm not saving enough money. I will probably continue to feel this way if I keep insisting I need those $7 Starbucks drinks, $25 candles and that totally cute cheetah water bottle I spied on the checkout line at Old Navy and just had to have. Like, why do you need 12 water bottles? You sure as hell aren't exercising that hard. Put some money away every other paycheck.

11) If you want to keep something a secret, maybe don't tell every third person you see. Chances are, word will get out.
Like, is that a JOKE?!
12) If you are unhappy in one area of your life, it will bleed over into other areas of your life. Scream, cry, take a bubble bath, binge on Netflix or stare at pictures of Henry Cavill, but either way acknowledge it and do something about it. Otherwise you will end up in a vicious cycle that not even all the abs in Magic Mike can cure. 
Okay, maybe they can. YOWZA.
13) Karma is real and comes along in her own time. You cannot put bad, negative energy into the world and not have it eventually come back to bite you in the ass. That bitch'll come for ya.
14) It's normal to feel at times that your life has no direction, you are completely lost, behind, and that you have no fucking clue what you are doing. You're young, you shouldn't have anything totally figured out yet, and that's okay.

That's all I've got so far. Life, like myself, is a serious work in progress. 

Take Away Message: If you feel like a complete and total mess who is occasionally lost, and your life is not heading in the direction you want or envisioned, RELAX. Take a deep breath. Things work out the way they should, when they should. You'll get there.

I'll try not to wait another two months before I emerge again. And until I do,
you are beautiful.